sgt byk tekanan idup sampai tkde mood nk tulis pape

sbb byk sgt bende nk tulis

tekanan idup utama adelah nk jual kete tp tk laku2 lg

dh 2minggu lg je nk balik mesia :((

tertekan!!!

nsb baik ade paih

die la satu2 nye perkara yg menggembirakan skrg nih

bukan la paih tuh menggembirakan sampai gelak stp masa....haha

tp he's the only good thing happening to me at the moment

in fact he's the best gift in my life.

bukannye tk pnah gaduh

stp mlm pon ade berlawan kata2 sbnrnye sbb saye ngade2

lg2 dgn tekanan skrg, lg senang saye nk terasa ati

gaduh tk semestinye tanda tk syg kan

tekanan lain dlm idup adelah  nk temuduga SPA

mmg la bole main hentam je

tp ikut rezeki la jugak kan dpt sape jd interviewer

pls jgn tanye sgt detail2

saye tk smpt nk prepare

ade exam jumaat nih

utk exam tuh nk ready pon kdg2 ter pk tekanan2 idup yg lain sampai buang masa saye

tekanan lain adalah termasuk keje2 modules yg ntah bile nk present

dokter2 saye sgt sibuk

n die pon sgt cerewet

cuak ok!

tk tenaaaang......

:))

alhamdulillah setakat nih sume lancar :))

dh lame tk berblog..sorority life pon tk main sgt

bukannye ape, wayar internet tk cukup panjang utk berinternetan...

skrg nih plak nekad nk start buat past yr CKT tuh

tp sblum tuh konon2 kene gak updet blog

26 June kan!!!!

syg sekali saya tiada

tp biarla

nk tunggu saye ade, tertangguh la sume2 plak kan

stakat nih masih belom dpt gmbr2 dr ibah lg sbb asyik error je td

tatau masalah pada connection saye ke or pada ym version yg saye baru install smalam

plg lawak adalah ibah tuh g rekod perbincangan2 penting org tua2

mmg menjalankan tugas reporter dgn baiknye!

i hate presenting this.

i like my learning experience with the team

but i hate the sucking-up part..

cant we just deal with the condition

and forget all those hierarchies and politics of impressing the superiors

cant we just do things with a pure sincerity..without the intention of showing off..

lirik lagu the climb nih sentiasa menyentuh jiwa saye

especially skrg

sbb start2 ayat die tuh kan ckp 'i can almost see it, that dream i'm dreaming'

yelaa..dh dkt2 nk grad nih kan mcm2 perasaan ade

sume org yg dh start intern sume ckp hargai masa2 jd student

tp bile kite tgh jd student ofkos tk sbr nk grad

ye laa..dh grad rase secure skit kan...

mmg lirik the climb tu sgt mendalam

sbb mcm sgt berusaha gilee

ofcourse i'm enjoying my course

it's my passion

but sometimes things just went out of ur control

sometimes u are stuck with tasks u dont like

tasks that arenot even ur job in the 1st place

i really2 like clinical medicine and physiology

but i think i'm quite stressed out with my current reg

she's very2 nice

but i think her mind is quite rigid once she fixed her mind on something

she's not open new information

i always looks like a complete confused student in front of her

eg: when she taught us about cortical and subcortical stroke,

i told her that i only knew about cortical and subcortical dementia

she said that she havent heard of cortical and subcortical dementia and she thinks that there's no such thing

i looked like a complete fool infront of her

but the truth is....cortical and subcortical dementia do exist!!! 

everytime i came across them again during my reading, i kept thinking about her and how she looked down upon me

i cant understand how she could not know about the dementia categorisation

she's going to be a geriartrician in a few years time!

it's not that i looked down on her now, but i could appreciate her more if she showed some interest in finding things out instead of just dismissing my opinion

she kept shutting my info off

as if i dont know things

hello, i know my physiology ok!

another occasion is our discussion about incontinence

i better not start on that

i'm soo pissed off!

hati dirobek..

seriously nk nangissss

homesickkkk

tk tahaaaannnn....

keje banyaaaaakkkk....

sblum nih pnah je ade keje jauh lg byk tp tk seteress mane pon...

saye rase saye makin byk dosa kot...

tuh yg hati bergelora tk tenang...

esok nk pose!

nk kene bersihkan jiwa

yaAllah, ampunilah dosa2ku...

saye rindu adik...

saye suke adik nyanyi utk saye

saye save gmbr tuh utk sabotaj adik :D

mase tuh saye suruh adik nyanyi lagu jaclyn victor tuh

'ku berjalan di bawah pohon asmara'

adik ofkos kene berjoget2 kan kalo nyanyi lagu tuh

mlm2 yg saye tk lena tdo mmg saye pasang earphone n suruh adik nyanyi utk saye

saye mmg sunyi tdo sorg.. :(

1908

look what i found while i was researching for the exam

102 year-old journal!

i still cant get around myself on thinking how things were done in 1908

it seems so far far far away in the lost time for me

never thought they even have the journal that looks so academic like this

but ofcourse la, it makes sense kan

things dont just suddenly 'boom!' and invented kan

it's only 100 yrs back (only eh?)

to get to what we've reached now, 1908 musnt be that old kan

Lending a Cashmere Jacket in The Winter Peak Hours - unforgettable

life is soooo stressful right now

i think my brain is not working enough due to exhaustion of thinking too much about side problems..

my mind rarely goes wild seeing things around me these days..

that means i'm sooooo un reactive..

usually my mind couldnt stop criticising everything around me

anything at alll

but i'm more of a 'noble gas' right now; hence the emptiness of my blog

the only interesting thing happened around me was on the way back from the city after the dementia visit,

the train stopped at Carnegie for a while and suddenly they said that they will be there for a little longer because one of the passenger in front carriage collapsed and they were waiting for the ambulance

then we decided to get out from our carriage and have a look at the collapsed person

there were a huge crowd outside the carriage and few people doing something around a person who was lying on the floor

we dont know whether he's conscious or not

it will be different management if he's unconscious

there's one other med student with us asking around about the person's conscious level

but i was so put off by a bystander who said

'why do u need to ask that.. isnt that enough to know there's somebody sick on the floor..give him a privacy'

OMG kerek macik nih

ckp leklok bole tak

macik tuh tatau pon sape2 adelah sape kan

manela tau ade yg kami bole tolong ke ape kan

so budak tuh ckp 'we want to know because if tehre;s something we can help with'

n macik tuh kerek gile ckp 'there;s nothing u can do, there's already ppl helping him out there'

OMG (lg!!).. 1stly, we dont even know whether yg keliling org tuh tlg tuh ade medical bakcground ke tak

sbb ofkos la sume org akan tolong kan sbb that's ethics!

2ndly, macik tuh tatau pape jgn byk ckp bole tak.

but me and adlina sticked out for a little while longer

then they brough him out from the carriage so that the train could leave because it's peak hour 5pm and there'a already queue of trains behind us!

then other people get back into the train

we still stick around

he was soo cold and severely shivering  being outside

ofkos la! it's winter and he hadnot got thick jacket or anything because it has been used to alas the platform for him to lie

so i take off my thick cashmere long jacket and put it on him

and another bystander spare him his jacket as well

he was still shivering

we were still waiting for the ambulance to come

only 2 other people left

we stayed in case there;s a need for resuscitation or anything

i dont know how to describe the feeling of self accomplishments after lending a hand to the people in need

i know i didnt do much but the slightest care to stay is big enough for me if i was the patient

we did even let go few trains after that just to make sure he's alright

we hoppped on the train again after the paramedics arrived

the patient even said thanks

the other volunteer also said thanks

we rode the train with mixed feelings.

i'll never forget this experence.

(i dont even have time to explain about the patient's condition)

it's the feelings that counts.

yaAllah...kuatkanlah hatiku menempuh dugaan ini...

tenangkanlah hatiku

ujian2 nih utk igtkan saye supaya jgn lalai sgt

jgn happy sgt kot...

tp mmg stress sampai sakit kpale..

bende2 tuh sume org nmpk bende kecik

tp org yg senang risau mcm saye mmg sakit kpale

sbb semua masalah mcm takle nk selesai terus

semua luar kawalan saye

kdg2 rase down gile n mcm tk sedap hati sgt

hati tk tenang

:(

Saye nk jd dokter yg baik kpd medical student la nanti

sebelum g skolah rase cuak kot2 reg baru tk best..

tp alhamdulillah..reg sgt baik

die suke mengajar gak sbb die stress nk clinical exam plak...

die nk  buat prektis on all cardio n neuro patients 

so selamat la saye tayah buat :p

last week liat la nk admit patient bile pk kene examine patients..

idung saye tersumbat

n saye ade sdikit sakit2 kpale sbb mcm rase panas kpale kan

pg2 mase drive nk g spital tuh mmg niat di hati nk buat muka tagih simpati

harap2 ade dokter yg ckp 'u r not looking good today..why dont u just go back n rest' ke ape kan

tp sampai2 je spital tgk2 resident saye lg la tk sihat

die siap ade flu lg the whole weekend

die dtg jugak harinih pon sbb die tk sampai hati reg baru nk orientate diri sendiri

sure kalut satu ward kalo resident tuh tk dtg arinih

jd terpaksa la saye yg sakit kpale nih blagak2 lg sihat kan

tp best sbb die blanja hot choc arinih

tp hot choc zouki tk sedap

reg tuh baik gile..mase die examine patients, die suke tanye soalan

n die awal2 dh ckp 'if u dont know, that's ok..i'll tell u'

die sbnrnye saje nk buat running commentary nye examination

so it works both way la kan

saye untung die pon untung

spanjang saye buat aged care nih mmg saye rase sgt menarik

sbb org2 tua kan ade sume penyakit

so luasla skit scope pembelajaran saye

even mase kat general medical ward arituh pon tk blaja sebanyak  nih

ye la, sume patient ade sakit jantung, sakit tulang, sakit buah pinggang, deranged LFT, bla bla bla

so di pk2kan balik mmg review the whole general medicine la kan

tp td mmg saye agak terkilan tk look impressive dpn consultant tu

die mmg baik hati gile

tp napeelaaaa saye tk pk panjang skit

kalo dh kene tanye on the spot tuh mmg main hentam je

die tanye nape queitiapine and sinemet takle bg same

saye pon ckp queitiapine tuh antipsychotics so ia adalah DOPAMINE AGONIST

and sinemet tuh adelah levodopa

so saye cam buat2 pk dpn diorg n ckp 'so there might be a state of hyperdopaminsm'

hahahahah i'm making fool of myself

firstly there's no such word as hyperdopaminsm as far as i know

secondly...saye silap perhitungan...antipsychotis are not dopamine agonist

it's a DOPAMINE ANTAGONIST!!!

camane bole silap ckp ntah tu!!!

tp takpela...dokter tuh baik

n die takkan jd supervisor saye pon :p

aduh smangat plak pk psl ward aged care nih

sbb sume org baik

tp in a few weeks time saye akan stress

sbb in 3 weeks time saye akan kene present case

pastuh saye akan stress sbb mls bace buku

ade cKT exam on 2july

org ckp takde org pon yg fail bende tuh

n org ckp bende tuh tk affect graduation pon

tp takkan la tk studi kan

*sigh*

saye sedang cube stadi ok :p

ofkos kalu tgh hangat stadi mmg lg hangat main blog sbnrnye :p

kalo jarang tulis blog tuh tandanye tgh hangat nonton je :p

The Date

tersedar harinih 6Jun!!

it was supposed to be the day 'ore mari tanyo'

tp dh postponed ke 26Jun plak sbb ade spupu2 belah sane kenduri n etc in these coming 2 weeks

tp masih tetap meaningful gak rupenye sbb arinih en.PaRah bersama ibunye keluar ke kedai

'ke kedai' kata ibunya kpd ibuku td

hahahah

en.PaRah tk smpat nk mms hasil belian sbb ibunya terus menyimpannya

takpe2..bg seprais skit :)

tidak sabarnyee saye

tk sbr nk balik

tp...sesungguhnya saye kat sinih ade pelbagai lg utk ditempuhi

nk jual kete lg 

nk pk masalah kewangan saye lg :p

saye rase mcm semua masalh bertimpa2

kalo tiada encik PaRah dan angan2 saye yg sentiasa menemani saye, mmg kelam laa pandangan

tp ape2 pon insyaAllah semua akan lancar2 sahaja...

Bebelan Orang Bersalah

good job sarah!! good job!!

berjaya spent the whole wiken dlm quilt je!!

tk bace buku!!

camane nk balik serve the people nih??

huhuhu

tp mmg rase nk berehat je

dgn sakit tekak dan idung tersumbat camnih mmg laa...

duk terbayang2 reg baru esok camane laa

mane la nk cari team yg ade 'extra module' mase lunch break

jumaat arituh satu team duk main eyeliner dlm staff nye toilet

resident tuh kan india, mmg pandai sgt la bab2 pakai eyeliner nih

reg kite duk jerit2 tk reti pakai

hahahaha

let's see tomorrow. saye akan try pakai ikut ajaran resident itu

and i'll assure her that by lunch time they will all be smeared...

maybe the trick is by using liquid eyeliner..

tp tuh mcm susah la utk kite kan yg kene amik wuduk tghari2

tk kuasa la kan nk bawak cotton wipes n makeup remover g skolah

beria sgt tuh

dpt break nk smayang pon dh cukup baik kan

owh btw saye nih telah mengamalkan gaya idup tk sihat dh skrg

nk suspend gym nye membership sbb tk smpt nk g dh skrg sibuk sgt

n mlm2 dh mls nk kuar

gelap sejuk!!!

pastuh dh start duk stock up megi dlm cabinet

mentang2 tk exam kan

tp mmg sentiasa lapar

tepaksa

kalo tk beli megi, nanti lapar2 ade plak nk kuar g mkn

lg bankrupt kalo camtuh kan

takpela...gemuk pon gemuk laa...

akan gemuk gak camane2 pon sbb dh nk balik mesia

nih plak saye tk sbr nk mkn...

nk yg freshly baked from the oven

tp arituh resepi from cookie bible tuh tk jd sgt

tk sure sbb resepi ke or sbb butter tk cukup sesuai temperature ke or sbb saye yg stuffed them up

oh saye baru dpt idea mengapa this whole wiken saye tk wat keje lgsg

sbb saye nonton cite korea kot

sbb kalo saye duk tgk chuck ke castle ke desperate housewives ke or mane2 cite mlayu bodoh2 (saye bukan ckp org mlayu bodoh, tp saye suke cite2 ngokngek je yg mlayu..cite2 mlayu yg cube berlagak cerdik agak tidak sesuai dgn saye),

sure saye still bole bace buku sambil dgr skrip

nih kalo tgk cite korea smbil bace buku mmg konfem la dua2 bende tk masuk

lgpon skrg saye overwhelmed tatau nk bace ape...

kalo mase saye ED arituh saye tau la nk aim abiskan buku ED

tp aged care nih mcm keseluruhan medicine

so ofkos la sbijik buku davidson itu diperlukan kan

so tau takkan dpt abis bace

sukar utk pilih....

patut consider buat modules

tp mase kat skolah je rase semangat

dh balik rumah tk kuasa nk buat modules

so saye plan nk stay kat spital stp hari ptg2

insyaAllah dpt siap..amiiin....

saye sekarang berada dlm common room

sperti biasa utk menjimatkan ink sendiri, print berbondong2 artikel di spital ni aje

i realised that i havent said anything about the new rotation

AGED care!!!

some ppl might think this is like a holday rotation - (at least my previous supervisor does!)

it's too early to say anything

of course i had great week so far

the reg and resident are GREAT!! SUPERB!

most comfortable team i've ever had so far.

but...it's too good to  be true...

the resident is finishing soon..maybe 1 more week..

i dont wanna have high expectations on the replacing resident - dont wanna be heartbroken.

and the reg will be rotating next week to another ward.

this is irreplacable!!!