life is unpredictable

adekah saye mempunyai bipolar

kejap hepi kejap sedih

tp mungkin saye takde bipolar

cume perkara sekeliling saya yg sgt byk fluctuations nye

bilekah ia akan berakhir?

ai wo sakebu

the union of two families

priceless!

Hibi no naka de chiisana shiawase
Mitsuke kasane yukkuri aruita kiseki
Bokura no deai wa ookina sekai de
Chiisana dekigoto meguriaeta
Sore tte kiseki

sinar-sinar kegembiraan

alhamdulillah..

all praise to Him.

dalam kekalutan begini, perkara sebegini amatlah memberi sinar walaupon sedikit

saye harus jadikan ia motivasi dan terus berusaha dan melawan perasaan malas ini.

cheesy meesy bugs bunny hunny bunny~

at times like this, i really need u to promise..

promise to never leave me no matter what i said..

promise to never hurt me like they did...

promise to always protect me from my ups and downs..

i really need u to promise...

i know u would!

u r too good to be true..

makcik-makcik

bestnyee jd kak muna

1st dpt boy

2nd dpt girl

saye pon nk camtuh :) amiiin...

Morbidly Clucky

seperti yg mmg sedia maklum saye sgtla clucky!

tp yg saye sgt takle terime adelah....

smalam nonton movie tuh kan, ade part yg baaanyak sgt baby penyu menetas kuar dr pasir pastuh jalan ke laut kan

mmg cute sgt sume terkedek2 merangkak

daaan, tibe2 terase saaangat la nk baby cute camtuh gak...

mmg tiada persamaan penyu dan baby saye, 

tp bile tgk makhluk yg dikire baby baru melihat dunia, naluri keibuan (LOL!!) ku tersentuh...

apekah yg terjadi kepada diriku ini?

can this cluckiness become pathological now?

scaaary!

tapiii..yg lg scary adelah bile tgk balik gmbr2 baby turtle mase nk google tuh..

mmg rase geli la plak bole terpk nk baby bile tgk turtle...tanak!!!!

mungkin smalam settingnye kot nampak turtle tuh cuteee sgt nk survive...

plus bole nampak die flap2 die nye tgn tuh...

btw, smalam dpt pegang baby girl...

still takde name!

dh berbulan2 pon tp masih in progress wedding website tuh...

tp tibe2 terase dh mcm tk smpt nk wat pape

lg 154 hari!!

tk seeempatt!!

sngnye kalo kaye kan..planning for a wedding akan jd heaven gile..

lg jeles skrg nih sbb saye attached to a GP yg tgh planning for a wedding gak

die buat kat Royal Botanic Garden plak tuh

then stp kali duk ngan die pon ade die cite psl preparation die

arituh die mintak izin saye die nk reply email kat florist die jap,

die kate nk decide on the tone...

pastuh die cite die baru had make-up and hair trial last week

pastuh harinih plak die ade cake testing

pastuh bile plak ntah die ade dress-fitting

die duk cite2 mase lunch break psl die dh book Royal Suite kat The Royce Hotel...

bla bla bla stp hari pon dgr best je preparation die

mungkin sbb sume ade byk kat org lain utk buat and die ade duit

kite kalo kaye pon mmg la sng kan..

ckp je kat wedding planner tuh ape2 yg kite nak, die g carikan

tp sbb kite nk murah so kite g cari sume sendiri satu2

tensi!

lg takut sbb kat mesia mane ade nk trial2 mekap nih

kalo dh byr die mahal bole la die nk trial2 kat kite

nih byr pon ikut per-session, tk psl2 kene byr utk trial session

sinih sume masuk package die

so bole tau la nk terime amik die ke tak kan...

takuuut...takut rosak muka!!

raungan anakanda bonda ini...

rase nk nangis...

rindu mami......

sgt2 homesick..

tatau nape makin teruk homesick...

arituh pon mase kat KLIA mmg sgt nk terembes2 air mata mase peluk mami..

tp mase tuh control lg dua2 ibu dan anak

pastuh try je tahan kelenjar air mata..

pastuh bile dh lps kastam tuh angkat je tepon terus meraung2 kedua2 ibu dan anak..

tk pnah pon camtuh...

slalunye sedih tuh sedih je la mls nk g skolah balik

tp mmg syahdu sgt2 arituh

nape ntah...sbb makin manja kot :p

dlm waiting room pon rase nk meraung2 tp diam2 je duk lap2 airmata dr masa ke semasa

saye tk suke la perasaan camnih!!

tk suke!

masalahnye skrg tepon mami tp mami tk angkat pon..

tp agak2 kalo mami angkat adekah mampu nk berkata2 

atau hanya mampu tahan air mata?

bonda, ketahuilah anakanda mu ini sudah tak terbendung lg perasaannya...

argh, ageing is taking its toll on me!!

melancholy

td mmg rase sangaaat teringin nk dating mkn sushi..

saye tk penah mkn sushi same2 ngan buah hati saye pon..

dhla harinih hari melankolik skit sbb mase borak2 pg td byk terkenang2 bende..

pastuh on the way nk sampai klinik td plak ade sushi bar

lg laaa teringinnn..tp saye dh lmbt sbb termissed bas..

pastuh kedai sterusnye tuh plak travel agent

ade plak besar2 die nye poster tulis 

'Experience Japan'

apekahh???

bikin sesak napas saja!

mmg bg saye everything about japan is like a fairytale

i really believe that there was an akai ito that ties us together and brought us to the magical moment when u least expected it..

just think of all the serendipities and coincidences, they are subtle but sweet (for me la)

that's why we think we need to find a copy of 

'turn left turn right' hongkong movie..

hmmm..maybe i'm vitamin-L overdose today!

the bus ride back home pon sgt laaa melancholic...

tk penah lg saye naik bas die pasang lagu instrumental..

lagu2 yg mcm dlm cd 'power of love' yg zmn kite kecik2 dulu

so lagu2 yg sgt familiar aa..

dhla perjalanan sgt lame...

aaaaa tensi sbb overwhelmed...

separation anxiety....

why oh why..

the hardest part of the day is to hang up the phone..

there was like throbbing pain in the middle of my chest

with radiation to the lacrimal glands..

yes, it's hard...

(i know the pic isnt related to my pain, but i've dedicated the pic specially for him last night - despite the comotness and kembang idungness and tembamness)

i just like the feeling of being around him being who i am

 ( pls allow me to be jiwang..i'm in pain :( )

did i mention before that i wore yellow-green tudung with orange blouse/top when we went out the other day?

tk matching!!

it's not like i purposely want to be comot, but i had no other choice..

but i just like it, the way i can be myself..

i expressed everything..that's why it's hard...

it's hard to be apart...

*sob sob sob*

yes, the hardest part of the day is around this time..

his working hour had just started..

and it's gonna be a looong day...

*sob sob sob*

if only somebody invented bluetooth-like earphone that stays on the ear

and they will always be connected to one person that u wanted..all day long..

and they just charge u flat rate every month (like streamyx etc)

oh how wonderful! ur every moment can be shared

and yet u can still go on with u daily routine..

i need that...

Our Little Nest

almost everyday i've thought about how our dream house will looks like..

but i came to fear that they will soon be forgotten once we need them..

so i've decided to recall bit by bit what we've agreed on or fought over,

and compile them here and tag them under 'dream house'

i've never used the labels app before, but i'll start with this dream house project...

so firstly, the concept..(this isnt something we could easily forget though)

we've agreed to have 'rumah kayu tradisional'

we know kayu-kayan are soooo expensive

but we have to work towards it

i've suggested to have surrounding patio all around the house with classic 'kekisi angin'

almost like the old istana but it's not as high as that

i dont know whether other ppl could imagine it or not but i've been longing for it for a looong time

i think the patio is great for my kids to get their fresh air but still under the shed and comfort of a heaven.

it will also give our house the cooling effect because the sun will not directly hit our walls/windows.

but encik.paih pointed out that the patio could not fully surround the house because obviously our rooms should not be that open...

maybe only 3/4 of the house will be circumscribed by the patio

i will have some cozy couches in certain spot to be with my kids while they do their drawings, colourings, etc

i'll also have some pertunia-like plants hanging at every post/pillar..

:))

this istana is not exactly like what i wanted

but the surrounding patio is what i'm pointing at..