My Plan

semangat saye skrg nk buat Photobook kat SnapFish nih
mmg saye sentiasa terliur ngan offer dr snapfish
dahla gmbr2 die cantik sgt bile die print
sgt glossy
bright colours
tk mcm kalo cuci gmbr kat Rawang arituh
colour2 tk cantik
tgh2 smangat nk buat photobook nih baru sedar yg sume gmbr2 ade dlm laptop shatun
kat mesia mahal photobook nih..
ratus2...
especially by PhotobookMalaysia..
apparently, it's international..
PhotobookAustralia pon harga ratus2 dollar camtuh..
padahal photobook sinih murah je
40pages around $60-70
SnapFish nih $19.95 je for 20pages.
hmm...kene siapkan photobook utk sume gmbr2 before grad la camnih..
i'm planning for 1 book each yr..
then another book for OUR journey..
:))

saye ade penyakit psychiatry kah?

Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is defined by the DSM-IV-TR as a condition marked by excessive preoccupation with an imaginary or minor defect in a facial feature or localized part of the body. The diagnostic criteria specify that the condition must be sufficiently severe to cause a decline in the patient's social, occupational, or educational functioning. The most common cause of this decline is the time lost in obsessing about the "defect."

Biru Muda

ibuku mengirimkan sistem pesanan ringkas bergambar
katanya baju ku sudah siap
say tau, fesyen ini sudah ketinggalan
sukar nye kalo bende ikut fesyen nih
saye tk berniat pon nk kebaya2 nih
saye kan comot2 je
tp taun lps semasa ibu ke bandung, ibu bertanya
'awak nk warne ape kebaya nih?'
memandangkan saye rase rugi menolak, saye berkata la nk biru muda
warne kegemaranku
kemudian sudah tentu la kain itu terperuk sahaja di rumah kerana saye tidak mengukur badan saye utk kebaya
takle suke2 main gune saiz adik saye mcm biase
nanti ade senget benget yg tak kene
oleh yg demikian semasa cuti arituh la baru bisa dihantar
tp skrg nih saye rase mcm out of fashion plak kalo nk pakai
mmg la kebaya sepanjang zaman
tp saye tk biasa pakai kain jenis 'ikut musim'
kan taun lps blambak2 org pakai kebaya sulam indo camtuh
segan la saye nk pakai skarang..
dahla org tau indo
ape kelas :p
walaupon dr segi kualitinye mak saye dh pilih yg berkualiti utk saye
tp tetap saye malu utk pakai
tp berkenan je tgk warne itu
haish...
dahla kalo saye pakai taun dpn dh dikire bertaun2 lambat kan...
saye mmg tidak sesuai ikut musim
sbb saye lambat

Saye Nak Hadiah

bagus sungguh saye
saye tatau mengape skarang mmg sentiasa dahaga
dahagakan ilmu
haha
segala jenis ilmu la..
seronok seronok...

p/s: saye sgt nk org adiahkan buku2 ilmu munakahat kat saye..
nk bli sendiri malu kat adik2 kan :p hikhik
kawan2, bli kan la utk saye...

hahaha at last i blurted it out.

the residents were always talking about their kids etc

saye asyik tersenyum je la kan sambil buat muka berminat dan terpesona ngan kisah2 mereka

pastuh si resident yg saye sentiasa tag nih mmg suke cite kat saye mcm2

psl inlaws die la psl anak die bgn mlm la psl anak die byk ckp la

dan akhirnye..

saye berkata jua..

'oh i really cant wait to graduate n start a family'

kantoi jua yg saye nih clucky

tp die paham je

mule2 mmg saye agak reserved ngan die

tp sbb die suke borak2

n saye mmg sentiasa bersame die je stp masa

die sentiasa memujuk saye utk stay keje kat sinih

die kate bagus keje sinih

mcm2 alasan saye bg

mule2 saye ckp saye nk berkhidmat utk bangsa sendiri - which she agreed sbb die pon dr srilanka

pastuh di hari lain die nasihat keje sinih lg

saye jwb saye nk biasakan diri keje kat tempat yg saye akan keje tua2 nanti

n last2 arituh saye dh ckp

'sbnrnye saye nk balik kawin'

saye pon cite la kat die plan kitorg

n die terus stop nasihat saye utk stay

hahaha kawin mmg undebatable kan...

pastuh arituh saye ckp kat die saye penat skrg nih

saye ckp saye g gym lps balik skolah stp hari sbb nk kurangkan berat badan

die tanye adekah saye nk kurus sbb nk kawin

saye ckp takla totally sbb nk kawin

cume sbb saye dh gained 4-5kg over the summer

honestly saye kene lose some more weight to improve my fertility

saye pon kene kurangkan sugar intake

to improve my insulin sensitivity

elak insulin resistance

hence, improve my ovulation!!

chaiyo!!

ovum2 ku, berusaha!

yeey~~ martin hanya membaca casereport saye dalam beberapa minit sahaja...die tk sdar kot saye buat brape ribu..saye buat 3600++ je...alhamdulillah die passkan...tp mmg tergambar la betapa die mcm tk kisahkan org lain...mule2 die ckp suruh saye email je ptg smalam kan..pastuh bile saye tanye balik die ckp lg bagus kalo saye dtg tgk ECT ngan die kol 7.30AM pastuh sblum start meeting kol 9.00am tuh die bole tgk...dahla nk kene bgn kol 6, tp saye bgn kol 6.30...mmg rushing2 utk nk siap..saye nih plak jenis tk reti nk mandi express...kol 7.05am tuh baru btolak dr rumah...patutnye kol 6.50am la bertolak kalo tanak rushing...so pg td atas M1 tuh saye pon drive secare berhemahnye 100-110km/j..slalunye saye bawak ikut kete depan saye je..kalo die slow, saye slow...tp td saye tak mampu tunggu kete2 dpn saye..so spanjang jalan bawak ikut speed limit...nsb baikla smpt sampai 7.25am...setibanya saye kat tpt ECT tuh mmg martin pon takde lg, tharanga pon takde lg.. saye 1st la kirenye...saye tk kisah sgt kene dtg awal sbnrnye kalo berfaedah...tp kan...td tuh tk smpt tgk ECT tuh si martin dh ckp 'do u have the essay with u now? why dont u wait for me at the back of the ward n i'll be there in abt 5mins'~ aaaaaaa...tensi nye saye..bukannye ape..brape minit je pon beza nye nanti kan kalo saye tgk ECT tuh sampai abis..die tk pk ke ape gune saye tunggu die awal2 pg kalo stakat nk tgk preparation ECT je.. baik die awal2 suruh saye tunggu kat blakang ward tuh..tayahla saye rushing2 mcm nk tgk ECT...kalo dokter lain mesti consider yg student nih nk tgk ECT sampai abis kan...die nih kalut smacam laa..mmg takde terjejas pape pon saye..tp saye lg memahami yg martin nih inconsiderate.. ape salahnye saye tgk ECT sampai abis 2-3 min je pon lg nk abis... pastuh dh kalut2 camtuh die bace la essay saye then die ckp 'good good' pastuh die ckp pass tuh je la.. saye pon ape lg, terus meminta izin nk kembali ke MMC utk lecture..at least duk MMC tuh half day je..tp tibe2 baru saye teringat, traffic ke arah city pada masa itu sangatla teruk...saye beruntung utk ke spital tuh stp hari sentiasa berlawanan ngan arus..tp bile awal2 dh saye kene kembali ke arah city, mmg tk larat aaa.. pejalanan yg 25minit jd 40minit..kire ok la kan jam kat sinih, nampak jam teruk pon tk teruk sgt... tak sakit jiwa pon jam kat sinih sbb sume org berhemah dan bertolak ansur... pastuh nk dijadikan cite dlm saye rushing2 takut lambat g lecture tuh tgk2 lecture awal pagi takde..kol 11 baru start...jd saye pon merajinkan diri ke library...bajet lps lecture pon nk stay sampai petang...tp td sgt lapar..saye g jln kaki ke clayton utk duplicate kunci n lunch kat Punjab...pastuh sperti biasa saye tapau butter chicken nya...pastuh bile dh ade bekas2 makanan berbau camtuh tak selesa la saye nk kembali ke library..last2 saye balik umah je dan skarang dh stengah jam duk main komputer je... sarah, tolong la rajin skit siapkan modul ye!! tolllonnng la rajin!!

Dear Martin,

Please be nice to me.
I spent my odd hours of the night editing the case report, for u.

With lots of love,
Sarah The 5th Yr Student

Ke Mana dan Di Mana?

saye nih bile je nk start wat keje terus rase nk updet blog kan..kalo tk mmg takde nk updet nye...saye tgh teringin nk g animun kat new caledonia lps nonton cite boysoverflowers tuh..cite tuh bukanla best sgt pon tp saye suke je isi masa lapang dgn bermalasan... bukanla lapang sgt pon..tp saje je buat2 lapang...jumaat arituh mmg excited sgt rase..rase byk bende smangat nk buat..mlm tuh p lipat balik sume baju dlm almari..dh susun ikut kategori walaupon tk muat sgt...awal2 arituh mmg tk smpt nk susun camtuh sbb baru unpack dr kotak2 kan...pastuh excited sbb bli 10lai panties baru...warne warni spt yg saye suke...time tuh baru jumaat mlm, so rase wiken akan panjang dan sempat edit case report..tp lame kelamaan saye masih lg menangguh case report maupon contribute to discussion board utk module..mmg takde mood lgsg nk wat keje...mcm2 la alsannye kan....tp skarang tiada pilihan lg...esok sudah isnin..skrg sudah malam..kalo tk paksa diri buat skarang mmg esok mati la tak mampu tunjuk muka kat martin sbb takut die tanye... pastuh esok plak dh kene anta balik dvd tuh..so kene buat mlm nih jugak module tuh!! aaaaa tk suke.... jd skarang kembali ke new caledonia...teringin nk pegi..sbb tpt tuh tak glemer sgt pon...tp cantik kelihatannya....namun, tiket tk murah sgt la kot nk g sane sbb takde direct flight dr mesia..ade dr oz, ade dr jepon, ade dr paris....so kene bli tiket utk ke tempat2 itu dulu...tk kuasa la kan... lgpon nk animun jauh2 sgt pon bukannye ade cuti byk pon nanti kan..takpela animun dkt2 pon asal berdua kan kan? ;p

mari mula mengumpul!

di saat2 saye takde duit nih pon saye akhirnye bli
sunblock SPF30!!!
oleh yg demikian marilah kite same2 ke pantai...

shopping td was sooo therapeutic!
rase mcm sume beban terangkat...
mmg tk ringan pon skrg sbb dh abis presentation
n i bought a cute pair of baby's boot!
kiut sgt!
mule2 saye sgt reluctant utk bli...
tp paih insist on buying it, so saye pon bli je laa

menghiasi meja ku...
ding dong, ku merinduimu...

Nerd on board...

saye sedang berada di library cube utk menyiapkan slide utk case presentation saye

patutnye saye present minggu dpn kat Dandee dihadapan ramai 5th yrs

tp nk dijadikan cite, clinical dean kat Casey suruh saye present gak kat Casey lusa

saye tanak la present 2 kali kan..

so saye tanye Gina...die senang ati utk suruh saye tayah present kat Dandee dh

yeaay!!

tp Melissa plak dgn rajinnye suruh saye present 2 kali..die kate bagus utk prektis

terime kasih je la Melissa

saye nk dgr ckp Gina

nsb baik die dh fwd kat Melissa gak hal nih

oleh yg demikian lusa saye akan present di Casey sahaja

walaupon agak last minute tp harapnye lg best la

sbb tk ramai 5th yrs

kitorg ade 5 org je kat Casey

tp ade 20++ 3rd yrs

harapnye diorg hanya ternganga mulut je la tgk psych case

tayah rajin2 nk tanye ye budak2!

dan kemudian saye berharap saye dpt cpt edit case report saye

saye plan nk anta kat martin isnin dpn

tp takut je tibe2 esok die ckp

'sarah, hand in your report tomorrow, i'll have a look at it over the weekend'

die tuh logik je nk berlaku kejam camtuh kan

kalo die kejam camtuh saye tk tdo la mlm esok mengedit

so far saye tk buat summary nye part je lg

and masalah utamanya adelah camane nk compress kan penceritaan

martin nih jenis yg tanak wordy sampaikan resident pon pening sbb die duk komen2 psl discharge summary

die ckp 'i'll never say u dont have enough words, but i'll give the report back if there's too much words'

kejam la martin!

dan sekarang saye sdg neeerd..

berada di dalam library MMC

saye tau saye takkan buat ape2 kalo dh balik umah

stakat nih saye mmg enjoy rehat di rumah

balik skolah rehat aje menonton sbb dh sgt penat kan

stp hari same2 ternanti2 nk nonton na-o-mei ngan nora

spanjang tgk cite kitorg akan jerit2 sakit jantung sbb pengarah bongok

penulis skrip lg bang**g

skrip tk logik dan tidak relevan

kdg2 tk make sense langsung skrip yg die masukkan

pengolahan watak yg tidak cerdik

tk nampak mcm pembuat drama tuh berfikir pon

mmg camtuh la cite mlayu, asal buat cite utk isi slot je kan

saye mmg penggemar cite mlayu bodoh

tp bukan sebodoh itu

saye bole terime cite bodoh mcm pepaya

tp saye takle terime cite itu bodoh sbb pembikinnye itu bod*h

hahaha bodoh2 pon kami setia menonton stp hari

sbb at least ade bende utk di look fwd stp hari

cemburu...
huhu...

My Forever

keje skolah sgt kejam
kejaaamm....
menghalang kebahagiaan...
sbar sarah sabar.sminggu lebey je lg...
kemudin hoyeeey!!!

missing u like crazeeee....

Self-loathing is healthy for me

saye sudah gemuk
saye sudah itam
saye sudah tua
saye sudah sembab

aaa saye ade body dysmorphic disorder
dan saye juge pokai
pokai utk bli sunblock
jd saye itam kerana stp hari drive kat M1 yg panas itu
saye sudah gemuk kerana saye asyik makan
walaupon saye pokai tp saye kene bayar gym ~$50 sbulan
kontrak selama 4 bulan
takle benti..jd oleh yg demikian sile la rajin stp hari pegi gym ye sarah
biar berbaloi bayar gym dlm kebankruptan ini

saye stress juge
stress sbb kene present 23hb nih
bosan!
mls nk stat wat powerpoint
mls nk start pk cuak
nk relax je
enjoy buat module je stakat nih
(tadela enjoy mane sbb ade yg tk best)

saye mau masa cepat berlalu
tp dalam masa yg same saye tanak cepat present
ape yg saye mau sbnrnye?
hmmm
haaa saye tau saye tau!!

Sabar

i'm not in the mood for bloghopping anymore...
i guess my final year will be full of wingeing about the consultants, residents, regs, interns, nurses etc
i tried to be positive from the start of the rotation
but today's thing made me scream my heart out.
i've been writing my case report peacefully sentence by sentence everyday since the first week because i dont like to rush myself into doing the whole thing all at once.
today is already the tuesday of 3rd week.
i planned to hand it in by the end of 4th week so that martin will have the whole 5th week to have a look at it.
then maybe the 6th week will be the time to edit them if he thinks it's needed.
BUT!!
suddenly this morning martin said
'hmm..i guess this patient is good for your case report, why dont u do one on him'
'oh, i've almost halfway through my case report, i did on the other patient bla bla bla'
'oh, i dont know him. do it on this patient'
dot!

OMG!!!!!!i've heard all sorts of stories about martin but never ever occurred to me that i'll face his 'weirdness'. he did everything his way, he wanted everybody to do things his way.
didnt he consider my effort of already writing up the 3000words report????why didnt he mentioned it from the 1st week?never ever mentioned anywhere that the patient need to be known to the consultant. and now i need to re do all the 5000words again??? aaaaaaaaaaa, i dont want to waste anymore of my time on psych thing because i need to tonnes of reading on meds/surg thing! not to mention about the specialty modules that i've only done half of it. but now i guess all my time will go into whining about how inconsiderate martin is and how bored i am with the new resident.

tk thn.....
rindu......

tp keje saye sgt banyak :((
mmg relax tp kene consistent buat keje...
kene present stp rotation, tk suke :(
rindu :(
byk modules :(
rindu :(
paih keje baru tk best :(
rindu :(

takde rezeki...

semalam happy for a few reasons..
arinih sedey for 2 reasons

• tk suke esok kene buat OPI kat dandee
• duit melayang nk dkt $400 servis kete n basuh kete

dh nk takde rezeki kan...bateri kete buat hal tibe2 pg td
sinih mahal gile bateri!!$139..
patutnye $110 die kate..tp tgk2 kete saye pakai bateri besar
ape barang kete kecik pakai bateri besar, sian tuannye nih haa...
pastuh labour cost kat sinih mahal!
pastuh kat 2 tayar ade paku plak tuh
stp tayar die baiki $20...
sian saye..
saye dh la dh bankrupt
cuak ngan phone bills bulan nih plak tuh sbb lusa baru masuk CapPlanbaru
bulan nih masih pakai CapPlan yg mase cuti..

semalam happy sbb masuk gym!!
yey!!
tp tuh pon kene byar gak :(
camane nih sarah..
i cant afford to be broke this year
sbb saye plan nk family trip ke sydney akhir taun nih
dgn nk pk nk sewa somewhere plak tuh utk family dtg nanti
ye la kan, sume family org dtg, so kene cari rumah lain aa

hopefully i can cut on my unncessary spending pasnih
but i can always justify what i bought
:(

takutnyeee kalo tk cukup duit utk sampai akhir bulan
arinih baru 2hb...duit masuk 26th..
takuttt...